Science Fun with Lanky Kong!
by Keba
Summary: Lanky is filming a science show in Cranky's lab without Cranky knowing about it. How will Cranky react when he finds out what Lanky is doing? And what will happen when the other Kongs join the show? Oneshot, contains insanity.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Donkey Kong games or characters. I just own a copy of Donkey Kong 64. That's it.

Author's note: I wrote this little story sometime between four and six years ago in script form. I decided to convert it into story form and post it here.

Warning: Be prepared for craziness.

Confession: I know nothing about quantum physics. I'm not sure if Lanky does either.

* * *

**Science Fun with Lanky Kong!**

Lanky was in Cranky's lab setting up for a science show. It was a live show- a children's show. Lanky put on a lab coat and got the camera ready. He turned the camera on and got into position.

"Hi, kids!" Lanky said gleefully as he bounced up and down, "It's me- Professor Lanky Kong! Today we're going to learn about quantum physics."

Lanky pulled down a chart with a picture of an atom on it.

"Now," Lanky said grinning, "let's start by learning about atoms! An atom is-"

"LANKY!" screamed a wavering voice.

Cranky hobbled into his lab, quite displeased with what Lanky was doing.

"What are you doing in MY lab, wearing MY lab coat, and starring in MY TV show!" Cranky shouted, "I demand to know!"

Cranky then realized that everything he just said was being broadcasted to the TVs of millions of children.

"Eh, sorry kids," Cranky said uneasily as he faced the camera, "Just stay tuned. I'm going to get rid of this imposter."

Cranky grabbed Lanky by the collar of his lab coat and started to drag him away. Suddenly they heard a loud crash. They looked around to find Donkey, Diddy, Tiny, and Chunky burst into Cranky's lab all at the same time. The four of them were all holding their favorite shooters.

"WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING HERE!" Cranky nearly exploded.

"We just finished a Monkey Smash," said Diddy, "We're all tired, so we thought we'd kick back and watch your live show."

"Watch where you're pointing those peanut popguns!" Cranky snapped at Diddy.

"Me win Monkey Smash!" Chunky said triumphantly, "Me valiant hero!"

Tiny noticed Lanky's lab coat.

"Lanky, are you Cranky's new lab assistant?" she asked.

"Yup," Lanky smiled even though Cranky was still holding him by the collar.

Tiny turned to Cranky, "Can I be your lab assistant, too, Cranky?"

Cranky made some grumbling noises.

Donkey spotted the camera.

"Ooh camera!" Donkey said with excitement, "Me want film!"

Cranky was too busy yelling at Diddy, Lanky, Chunky, and Tiny to notice that Donkey was filming the entire thing. He was still holding Lanky by the collar. Tiny was tugging on Cranky's lab coat begging to be his assistant. Cranky looked away from the four Kongs for a moment and saw Donkey filming the entire thing.

"AAAAHH!" Cranky screamed, "My brand new camera!"

"Me film documentary," Donkey said with pride.

Tiny let go of Cranky's lab coat and stepped right in front of the camera.

"I'm ready for my close-up," she giggled.

In the midst of all the chaos, Chunky made an important announcement.

"Me thirsty!" he stated.

Chunky looked around for something to drink. He found a table full of flasks. The flasks contained some of Cranky's newest potions.

"Ooh- sodie pop!" Chunky said excitedly as he picked up a flask.

"Don't drink that potion!" Cranky shouted at Chunky.

"It hasn't been tested!" added Lanky.

Cranky let go of Lanky and hobbled to Chunky as fast as he could. He was about to snatch the flask out of Chunky's hand, but it was too late. Chunky drank the potion in one gulp.

"Hmm…." Chunky said thoughtfully, "Sodie pop flat."

"Now you've done it, Chunky," Diddy said in despair, "Cranky's never going to let us have another potion again!"

Chunky didn't hear what Diddy said. All he could concentrate on was the gurgling going on in his stomach. Soon, Chunky's cheeks began to puff up. He covered his mouth, but he couldn't hold back the upcoming burp. Chunky let out a fiery belch.

"Uuuurp!" Chunky burped, "Sodie pop not flat after all!"

The fire from the belch set Cranky's lab on fire. The lab crumbled to the ground. All the Kongs were charred black. The only thing that remained unharmed was the video camera.

"Chunky," said Donkey, "you made a big boo-boo."

Cranky grumbled.

"That's our show for today, kids!" Lanky said with as much enthusiasm as he did at the start of the show, "Tune in next time for Kremling anatomy!"

"Me no like sodie pop no more!" Chunky said with frustration.

With all his might, Chunky threw the empty flask at the camera. The camera went fuzzy and the science show was off the air.

* * *

Yes, that was random, I know. It wasn't supposed to be serious. Don't expect any more Donkey Kong fics from me. I'm all out of ideas. However, I do plan on writing other fanfics, so you'll see me around. 


End file.
